Like I Could Give a Shit

Reject Group Think and Read More Books

Apr 05, 2025

Back in the late ’90s, I was having dinner at the Planet Hollywood in Orlando, a restaurant chain with movies as its theme. One of the attributes of these places was they had actual movie props decorating the place instead of the street signs and other corny Americana you find on the walls of your local T.G.I.Friday’s. As we sat down at our table, I noticed something strange. It was so bizarre it has stuck with me for almost thirty years and remains the most ridiculous dining experience of my life, which is saying a lot because I’ve been to Hooters with Aron Beauregard on multiple occasions.

Above the table at Planet Hollywood was a dummy of Sylvester Stallone from the 1993 cinematic masterpiece Demolition Man. If you’ve never seen this screen gem, you need to fix that, as it is not only a solid action-comedy, but also has proven scarily prophetic, as it portrays a society completely sterilized by political correctness to the point of suppression. The script is pretty ingenious, especially for a movie of its genre, but one could expect that considering it was written by Daniel Waters, the same mad genius who gave us Heathers and Batman Returns. As a lover of Demolition Man, I immediately recognized the scene the dummy prop was from. It’s featured in the opening of the movie when Stallone’s character is cryogenically frozen to be revived several decades later. Basically, this prop was a life-sized, naked Stallone with a small piece of cloth covering his lil’ Rambo. It was in a crouched position, trapped in a plastic sphere suspended from the ceiling, right above the booth we were eating in.

Already, this was the funniest shit I had ever seen.

For one thing, it’s a nude, muscular man floating above us like some roided-out The Boy in the Bubble. But the other thing that made it so hilarious is the dummy’s face captured Stallone’s visage rather poorly. For a third thing, this was hung from the ceiling for diners to enjoy while they chomped down on their Hollywood bacon double-cheese burger (as if anyone in Hollywood would eat such a thing). But the absolute best part about this is Sylvester Stallone was one of the owners of the company.

Imagine the balls it takes to start a new restaurant chain, and when walking through the layout you say, “Hey, instead of a chandelier here, you know what would be great? A naked me. That’s what people want to see when they’re eating—a naked me inside a clear beach ball.”

That’s the kind of attitude you should go through life with.

If you want to do something (that won’t hurt anyone), go for it no matter how nuts other people think you are. Stallone is an icon of mine for many reasons. I fucking love the guy. He and Arnold Schwarzenegger (another co-owner of Planet Hollywood) are the epitome of the self-made man, and I respect the hell out of them. I also adore films from their respective catalogues. Younger generations might see these macho kill-o-thons as archaic, but I prefer the flamethrower-toting bodybuilder to the action heroes of today, which are just flying super people in tights who are invincible. I get bored watching Ant-Man fight CGI aliens. That never happens when I’m watching Stallone rip the heart out of a sex trafficker’s chest or Schwarzenegger fire a missile a terrorist is tied to into a helicopter flown by another terrorist. Superpowers get old fast. Testosterone-fueled carnage never does.

But to return to my point (if there is one), this naked Demolition Man dummy is not the only one of its kind. It wasn’t even the only one hanging from the ceiling in a Planet Hollywood. Lots of them had these demented things, and perhaps they still do. There’s actually a fun story behind them but I’m not going to get into that here. What I want to focus on is Stallone’s lack of giving a shit about what other people think. This is the attribute I respect most in people and yet I see it the least. Many will say they don’t care what other people think, but I’ve noticed those who do are also the ones who are the showiest in their everyday life. They only say they don’t care what people think as a defense for how ridiculous they are. Like a guy who dyes his hair transplant, is covered in piercings, has a perfect manicure and $700 sneakers, and has spinner rims and a personalized license plate on a car he can’t really afford. This bozo will tell you he doesn’t care what people think of him when clearly it means more to him than love or money or even getting laid, otherwise he wouldn’t put so much focus on all this “hey, look at me” stuff.

People are going to judge and make fun of you no matter what you do in life. It’s human nature to be caddy and unjustifiably judgmental. Most people are jerks and the world wants you to fail. So you might as well be who you want to be and do what you want to do, as Stallone’s Rocky Balboa once said, and that includes the $700 sneaker guy.

There are also a whole lot of things people insist you need to care about, but I promise you really don’t have to. You don’t even have to be aware of them. Don’t get me wrong—causes do matter. But even if it’s a noble cause like stoping fire ant bites in children, that doesn’t mean you have to get involved. You can wish the cause well without actively engaging. You also don’t have to speak up online about every single issue just because the current zeitgeist pressures you to. You have every right to pick and choose the issues that matter most to you, if any causes do at all. I can’t stand the “silence is violence” attitude of attacking others on social media for not taking a side in the daily hot topic debate or some hypothetical nonsense like the bear in the woods question. Not everyone wants to participate in the social media town hall. Not everyone is on Twitter and TikTok every day. I think this is the healthiest approach one can take to the ol’ online sewer. But in an age when anybody with a keyboard can see themselves as an activist (though they’re not), you run the risk of being attacked just for being uninterested in (or unaware of) other’s people’s stupid bullshit.

Don’t be afraid to not give a shit.

In my forty-seven years on this globe, there have been so many things society has told me to care about that I simply refuse to.

For example, I will never care about my lawn. I cut it to keep it from being a jungle but wouldn’t bother watering it unless it was on fire. Green grass is not important enough for me to waste money, time, and resources on something other people are going to see more than I am (I’m inside the house, after all.) People are obsessed with everything being “all natural” until it comes to letting your yard grow wild and free. I’m the true environmentalist here! I let nature do its thing.

Some people really need to mind their own business. Feel free to tell them so. When someone says something you find ridiculous, no matter how popular of an opinion it may be, don’t be afraid to simply say: “I don’t agree with that at all.” No need to argue it any further. You don’t owe anybody an explanation. Just say no.

Recently, I was watching a docuseries on The Hillside Strangler case. It’s a fascinating true crime story, but what made the series even more entertaining was the retired police detective they interviewed. Most of the time when you see a real cop on a show, they’re very reserved, focusing on “just the facts, ma’am.” Not this guy. He’s retired and doesn’t need to act professional. Therefore, he was hilarious. At one point he was talking about how the serial killer broke down in tears during his confession, and the old cop said, “Like I could give a shit.” As soon as I heard that, I knew I was going to start using the phrase with equal ease and frequency.

Someone’s offended by something I wrote in a book? Like I could give a shit.

Somebody is raising awareness for something that doesn’t interest me in any way, and they take umbrage with me not getting involved? Like I could give a shit.

Some group has decided what is and is not acceptable free speech? Like I could give a shit.

Maybe you give a shit, and that’s fine, but you can’t expect everyone else to. Other people have problems of their own that you don’t give a shit about, so just let it go. Not giving a shit is a human right that should be utilized on a regular basis. Too many people give in to the pressure to care so much about everyone and everything, as if we have time for that, as if we could possibly fix all the world’s problems. There’s nothing wrong with activism, it can be a very positive thing, but there must be proper places for it. Too many people want to force politics into every aspect of human life. We don’t have to let them drag us into their perpetual state of sanctimonious petulance. These folks are sad sacks who don’t know how to have fun and want to shame us for our ability to do so.

Like we could give a shit!

I’ve long said group think is an eraser that is always coming for your ability to make your own choices and your right to speak your mind. It’s why I don’t identify with any groups or parties of any kind. They can be too much like cults (though some are more cult-like than others) and the last person I’ll ever trust is a politician, based on what I’ve seen from them my entire life. Unfortunately we live in a time when culture war hysteria is at the forefront of everything. People used to consider it rude to discuss politics, social issues, and religion, but now, thanks to social media, it’s all anyone wants to talk about.

Like I could give a shit.

Perhaps you don’t give a shit either.

Never let the current zeitgeist sway or bully you into sacrificing free thought to fit in. Don’t let bullies tell you what not to read or watch or who to listen to or what websites to use. The herd is always a bad thing to be a part of. So if someone tells you it’s crazy to have a latex dummy of yourself hanging in your restaurant (I’m using this metaphorically, of course), just follow in Stallone’s footsteps. Your dreams are yours alone. Your opinions are just as valid as anyone else’s—even the ones I don’t agree with! Headspace is the most valuable real estate of the human body, so don’t let some controlling bastards take it away from you.

A lot of people will disagree with this message.

Now you know what I have to say to them.

Okay, now here’s something I hope you will give a shit about!

I just returned from Authorcon V in Williamsburg, Virginia. Thanks to everyone who came out to see me!

Now I’m announcing my upcoming book signings for 2025. Please note this list is subject to change. Other events may be added as the year goes on, but here’s the current list. Click the event titles to learn more.

CT Horrorfest. May 3^rd – 4^th in Stamford, CT.

Barnes and Noble. May 10^th in Smithfield, Rhode Island. Store location: 371 Putnam Pike. This is a co-signing event with Aron Beauregard. From 5pm to 7pm.

Books and Brews. August 2^nd in Noblesville, Indiana. Wyndham Hotel in Noblesville.

Spooktastic Book Fair. September 13^th at the Framingham Public Library in Framingham, Massachusetts.

I also want to tell you about some cool new items on my website. The first is The Complete Short Stories bundle, which collects my three collections, Pure Evil, Blood Relations, and Growing Dark.

The other is the new “blood variant” of the highly coveted Full Brutal action figure. If you missed the original, which sold out in just minutes, now is your chance to grab this version, but act fast, as they are extremely limited!