What’s Grosser Than Gross?
Tips on horror and happiness
There’s a difference between splatterpunk horror and extreme horror. I admit that even I, an author who has dabbled in both, did not fully understand the distinction until some of the original gangsters of the genre schooled me. I had assumed that splatterpunk horror focused on shock value gore and comedic depravity while extreme horror focused on taboo subjects with serious storytelling. Turns out the opposite is true (the word splatter threw me off). Extreme horror wants to upset sensitive readers and make even the most hardcore horror fan vomit. So does splatterpunk, but it also has something deeper to say.
Both subgenres have their merits, but often extreme horror is a little too juvenile for my liking. Such books often make me think of the “what’s grosser than gross” jokes I used to hear when I was in the fifth grade. Dead babies being slapped between two pieces of bread certainly has its dark comedic value, but when the writing is poor and the story is nearly nonexistent, I begin to lose interest.
While it can be equally grotesque, splatterpunk horror is trying to say something more important, or at least tells a story with more character development and motivation. Splatterpunk hits your heart and soul, not just your gut. This is the brand of horror I’ve worked so hard to produce for my readers. As the winner of three Splatterpunk Awards for Best Novel (for Full Brutal, The Night Stockers, and The Old Lady), I humbly suppose I’ve succeeded. People often tell me how deeply my books have affected them, and it’s one of the greatest compliments they could give me. I want people to be haunted by my work, not just temporarily disturbed.
I don’t get precious about readers interchanging the names of the two subgenres, provided they don’t mistake what I write for mindless blood and guts without ever having read it. What concerns me more is the number of up-and-coming authors who don’t seem to understand that there is more to telling a horror story than simply making a long “what’s grosser than gross” joke. The Gross Out Contest, which has hopped from different conventions over the years, is the better place for this Garbage Pail Kids variety of stories, but there’s a reason many competitors do not go on to publish their gross out stories. I certainly didn’t. It’s just a different venue and vibe altogether.
To be clear, you can write a vulgar, repulsive book and still tell a story, and those are worth publishing. But first you must ask yourself some hard questions.
Does my story have believable, relatable characters?
Are there character arches or journeys for my main cast?
Other than graphic nastiness, what does my story offer readers?
These are just a few examples of the sort of tough questions you need to answer honestly.
Be your own biggest critic and be openminded regarding the constructive criticism of others. Read popular books from both subgenres to get a clear understanding of the differences. And read older horror novels as well as new ones by your contemporaries and the authors you admire. Perfect your craft before you run with a simple disgusting idea. You want your stories to have a lasting impact. Don’t be the equivalent of the kid on the schoolyard who will eat anything for attention. The novelty wears off quickly, and you will be forgotten at best and ridiculed at worst. Instead, motivate yourself to be the best horror writer you can be.
If you follow me on social media, you may have seen some mysterious teasers for a new horror novel. I have not yet announced the title or revealed the cover art, even though they’re ready. This book is demonic, and demons must be summoned, so stay tuned for more information to be unleashed this October.
In the meantime, here’s another teaser…
Spooky season is rolling in, and much like you, I couldn’t be happier. My book tour for 2025 has been a smash so far, and I’m delighted meeting so many readers and fans along the way, as well as reconnecting with some of my diehard fans. I have two book signings scheduled for October. I hope you can come and visit with me!
Pop Up Horror. October 19th at Buttonwoods Brewery in Providence, Rhode Island.
Bookery Manchester. October 25th from 5pm-7pm at Bookery in Manchester, New Hampshire.
Right now, these are the last signings I have scheduled for 2025. Such events start to die off around the holidays. But I do have two lined up for 2026 already, including my very first signing in Arkansas.
White River Fan Con. February 21st and 22nd at Batesville Community Center. Batesville, AR.
Scare That Care’s Authorcon 6. February 27th – March 1st at Doubletree by Hilton Hotel. Williamsburg, VA.
Things are downright insane in the world right now, but I’m not going to discuss them here. I want my stuff to be an escape from reality’s woes, to help you forget about your troubles by freaking you out with fiction and entertaining you with newsletters. So here’s a few of my personal tips on how to stay positive in these dark times.
Please note—I am not a mental health professional and really have no business giving advice to anyone. I am an eccentric weirdo who makes his living writing about people having sex with intestines in the name of Satan, so maybe don’t look at me as some guidance counselor. At best, look at me as the crazy old man on the mountain with a long beard and some kind of hat with ram horns on it—you know, the one the locals say is a mad warlock. The kind of guy you’d only visit to buy a love potion or summon an ancient demon to avenge your murdered child.
Anyway, here’s my six tips.
1. Look at the sun. Well, not directly into it. That’d be stupid. But lift your eyes up from your phone and stare into the sky, letting sunlight fall over your face for at least a few minutes. Do this every day. The mental and emotional benefits of this have been studied, so you don’t just have to take my word for it. Even if you’re goth, the sun is your friend.
2. Listen to Billy Ocean. When you’re having a shitty day, ask yourself when the last time was you listened to “Get Out of My Dreams, Get into My Car” or “Caribbean Queen.” If you’re unhappy, it’s probably because you haven’t listened to Billy Ocean in a while.
3. Daydream. Free your mind of input by turning off all devices and dissociating. No screens, no music, no friends. Just you and the grass between your toes as you decide what each cloud looks like. If you live in a city and don’t have any grass, move away.
4. Have sex with a really hot person. I give the experience five stars. Highly recommended.
5. Eat red meat. There is no mood so foul that a good steak cannot fix. The protein and nutrients in red meat will never be topped, and the old delusion that it’s bad for you has been disproven time and again. I am always more energized and successful and sexually attractive when I eat it. I write better on a high meat diet and go into psychological withdrawals without it. So, eat red meat at least once a day but shoot for three. And if you’re a vegetarian or vegan, don’t be—or at least take that as a joke. Making fun of what someone eats does not amount to a genocidal threat.
6. Play hookie. Life is too short for perfect attendance.
Until next time, keep reading, and try to be happy.
Your pal,
Kris
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I agree 100% with just about everything in this. Perhaps a tad unsure on the Billy Ocean bit, not having listened to those songs in approximately forever, but, thinking about it, you may in fact not be wrong about that either.
OK, so what I've gathered from this newsletter is to have sex with hot, red meat? Got it.